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TEN STEPS TO ADULTING AT HOME WITH THE EMPRESS


‘’Change your expectations of yourself: Expect the best, expect Divine guidance, expect your fortunes to change, expect a miracle. When you were in-spirit prior to materialising, your aim was high and your expectations were Godlike. Reacquaint yourself with that vision.’’

Dr. Wayne W Dyer EndFragment

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Adulting appears to be a new buzz word on the block.

I am fascinated by it. This word did not exist when I was young. Whether I liked it or not the general culture was that your adolescence marked the beginning of the transition from the parental home to one of your own, bedsit, university dorm.

Marital home, travelling the globe, whatever just as long as you were not under the same roof as your parents.

The argument for this was that it was character building, almost like a rite of passage. You were not deemed to be an adult until you had cut away the apron strings of the hearth and home that you had grown up in. It has crossed my mind that your folks didn’t want your problems and as a matriarch amongst three young adults living with me I can understand why!

I also think that when mid-life comes upon you, your energy, personal vision and patience changes. It is time to live more freely, quietly and your sense of purpose becomes less family orientated, less ‘we are’ to ‘ I am’.

According to the Urban dictionary Adulting means: To do grown up things and hold responsibilities as, 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent or anything else that makes one think of grownups. There are two things that spring to mind at this point. One is: does this phenomena exist on a global level? I am not sure that it does, certainly not to the extent it does here in Europe. I have seen where families and extended families happily co-exist and everyone has their job and a domestic task to do.

The other thought is: what is a grownup? I often wonder if I am. I see people of my generation chasing Peter Pan. We would live forever in a place of halcyonic eternal youth, impervious to disease, breakdown and old age.

In recent times, however, we have had some harsh lessons as many icons of the 70s and 80s have now gone to the Summerlands and our contract in life is proven infallibles.

But, we digress. Back to the point. I do think that a lot of current living arrangements within families are based on the economic climate. Housing is expensive, jobs do not always offer a living wage to support independence in the young and so it makes sense that a family pulls together to maintain the status quo.

Another element could be that the children of the Thatcher years developed characteristics in the young that avoided independence, responsibility and who became downright selfish. I suppose that is what I am saying, that the younger folks, generally speaking, are not equipped for taking responsibility and are less likely to redeem their youth than we were at their age.

One thing I have never really understood is the lack of drive towards independence, my own meant so much to me and I would have done anything to have it.

Yet, as my daughter pointed out they were part of the forgotten generation, so much was promised them and so little came into being. The Nanny state may have been to our detriment. Everything was seemingly taken care of. So, we have a first world problem for first world spirituality. How do we encourage our dependents to quit adulting and become adults? How do we encourage choice and balance in the physical world amongst the young?

The answer could be in the Empress. As carers or Mothers, irrespective of gender, we could take some pointers from this potent symbol.

She can act as a catalyst that loosens the hold of conventionality by overcoming the pressures of being in this world. She is aware of her own consciousness and power. Hers is the prowess at bringing the world to her and allows it to be unless threatened by forces that could overwhelm or destroy her. The Empress has the ability to define her boundaries.

She shapes her own destiny in the world, she raises her family & is an authority that is recognised. However, she has to be aware that she can’t be responsible for the actions of others nor overprotect to the point of suffocation.

When we are so immersed in family or working life (yes, you might have adulting youngsters around you at work), we don’t connect to our innate spiritual life. Kitchen sink spirituality seeks to further a re-connection that encourages us to see that the most spiritual thing we can do is be alive and there is a learning in all circumstances.

How can the Empress assist us in surviving the adult at home whatever your generation? Here are some pointers for your consideration:

*Don’t let the negative motives of others undermine your ideas or dreams.

*Resolve conflicts through compromise.

*Stay attuned to the natural world and maintain a connection to the power and presence of nature.

*Let you naturalness be a comfort to others.

*Allow your ideals to be grounded in actual skills and talents.

*Positive communication is a sign of high intelligence and deep feeling. Tap into it.

*Don’t cling to futile relationships to achieve the unachievable.

*Detach yourself from the emotional theatre of others.

*Be creative...express it with energy, flair and passion.

*Know your limitations, yet also know when to push, how far and to what end result, be your own spiritual potential which will encourage the same in others...no matter your age or status.

‘One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper up until this point, always just existed. And now it’s a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like Pandas?’’

Kelly Williams Brown

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