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Dark Side of the Lovers.


“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.”

― Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

Here is another post from The Dark Side series, this time I look at The Lovers from behind the curtains of the shadow.

When this card hits the table you can feel a palpable sigh; it’s either one of, ‘great stuff, looks like I’m in there’ or ‘ooo, still not sure if so and so still loves me, I mean do we actually have a relationship?’ Whilst this card can indeed indicate a physical relationship, it need not necessarily mean that. Having said that we do have relationships with absolutely everything including different parts of ourselves. As this card is in the first row of seven aligning with interdependence then we can safely assume that all bits of ourselves, the universe and humanity itself are all minestrone, whirling about in one big soup, only there because of each other!

In Jungian psychology it is thought that the more emotionally you react to the things that you see or experience, the bigger the complex in you that is being mirrored in these external circumstances. For example, if you have taken a dislike to somebody, then it is highly likely that this person resembles an unconscious part of our self that makes us uncomfortable or remains unknowable.

The inner world is our true reality, the outer world is but a phantom of that.

In The Lovers we see ourselves emerge from the rich and verdant internal pastures into an externalised world of people and things.

We are coming to a point where there is a definite idea about ‘other.’ In order to engage with ‘other’ we have to make choices, we have to confront our commitment to emotional responsibility and in so doing we are taking another step on the path to maturity.

In this card we are looking for a union of the mind and the heart with the cosmic all. An aspect of the Great work is the blending of the physical/emotional life with the intellectual/spiritual life, a union of opposites.

Many of us are familiar with yin/yang, male and female energies within everybody. However, very often we don’t bear witness to our own polarities, instead we see them in another. It is vital for our overall health that we encourage harmony and balance into the psyche.

Lovers do not always agree!

Most of us at some point have experienced inner turmoil, the excruciating push and pull of emotions and perception.

I have seen this many times in people who have definition in both hemispheres of the brain.

On the right side is the ‘we are’ spiritually oriented love of concepts and ideologies, on the left side is the scientific and linear, ‘I am’ approach.

I have discovered that these people who live with two continents at war with each other actually have enormous potential for healing others especially ancestors (therein lies a whole new blog!)

This war can be a bloody and dangerous battleground of manipulation, unresolved conflict, emotional abuse and destructive tendencies that sabotage all attempts at beauty and wholeness. Darker still, this lack of peace, the choice of loss and fragmentation shapes the outer inhabited world. I think it is quite true that until we find a peace within ourselves we will never know a global peace. One has to ask if this is even possible, is the human truly capable of the peace that surpasses all understanding? Another question that follows is, maybe it is meant to be like that?

I think of the Tree of Life and the fourth and fifth Sephiroth, Chesed/mercy and Geburah/restriction.

They speak of absolute harmony. When there is too much mercy, restriction calibrates this dynamic as without it mercy can’t do its job and becomes diluted and meaningless. The same can be said for restriction, when left to its own devices this dynamic can squeeze the very life out of all creation and mercy is required to provide the ground for growth.

When we are born we are immediately set upon a path to return to the beloved. This is our ultimate destiny. What fate governs that journey is determined by The Devil, the ego, the need to be tempted by the illusion of maya. In this we can see another aspect of The Lovers as bringers of a union in that it is vital so that the ego and spirit work together. A visual for this is two birds that sit upon a branch and talk together. Harmony speaks of two which ultimately becomes three and then we can have the expansion that is conducive to growth.

The dark side of The Lovers.

The dark side of The Lovers is the suppressed creativity. These are stilted emotions and inappropriate life choices that keep us captive within a chaos that cannot be resolved or understood. Frustrated desire leads to action of will that does not serve the greater good.

The dark side of The Lovers is the wound wrought from separation, rejection, abandonment and alienation which ensures we attach to more of the same, it’s all relative.

The Lovers in shadow is that disconnection from spirit.

It is not the ambassadors of the world of light that leave us but it is we that walk away from them. It is the spiritual wilderness that is without form or hope or faith. It is lack of inspiration and a constraint on freedom and passion.

This life time, this current incarnation, as with every incarnation, sees us come into this world in a place of shadow, ready for the life experiences that will illuminate and resurrect us from the abyss; we have the opportunity to connect to the wisdom of eternity. No experience is ever wasted.

We are here to grow through love and compassion, it is these that are truly real.

For your inspiration, draw three cards that will tell the story of The Lovers within you, make note of your thoughts and feelings. As you become aware of this story, do this again and note how your story changes with the deepening of your awareness.
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