Woundology, now the dust has settled...
“The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars.”
― Bertolt Brecht
I was listening to a conversation in the shop while waiting to be served…
The dialogue was about how her ex partner, whom had been a childhood sweetheart, had met somebody else and had started a family. Apparently she and the ex were joined at the hip for ever and ever but had never had kids and she was saying to her friend that she had a sneaking feeling that the ex would eventually come back to her. It actually doesn’t take a psychic to know that this scenario will not end up like this at all! It occurred to me that this lady was revelling in the sadness and frustration of her plight and went on to regale her friend with all the mishaps that had happened over the years. Not once did she speak of any happiness or good times between them, it was all about the pain. Her friend responded as though this lady had undergone some sort of initiation and was now part of the great unhappy club and was a fully affiliated member of the first world lack and want order…well done, bravo!
Have you ever noticed that people love to discuss their pain and misery.
They talk about their operations or diseases, their broken heart or lost loved ones, their grief and inability to get back on track. On the other hand how many times have you heard them discuss their peak experience or a joyful partnership or even their happiness at being alive or delight about who they are as people? It is almost as if the pain is more meaningful than happiness and accentuates their identity and persona.
Having said that it would appear that those souls that go through the most awful experiences say similar things; that the most awful of conditions brings out the best in you. I think the link may be that from adverse difficulties one looks for the hope. Hopelessness is such a dark place to be, whereas hope reminds us that life, like water, has to find it's own way forward.
Happiness is not an entitlement; it is a choice.
When we are young we are more able to roll with the punches, we can bounce back and are mesmerised by the momentary ability to be invincible. Happiness and sadness are states of being, they just are. Yet when we get older our troubles are less easily dealt with for all kinds of reasons and positive thinking and happy thoughts are a necessity. Most people have a sense of martyrdom or are stoic in keeping on attitudes, but this is not happiness. I don’t think, generally speaking, that people know what it is that will make them happy and worst still, there seems to be a fear that being happy is egoistic, such is the poverty consciousness that we see so many times in consultations. It is not our job to sugarcoat but to open up the range of possibilities that can bring happiness in its many forms and guises.
I drew a card for inspiration for this blog and I received the Star card.
This card is one of the mystical in the deck. It represents a higher spiritual awakening and being able to see everything for what it is. The Star speaks of optimism, hope and healing; the salve that we put on the wound. The mystical ointment is hope - the hope that in time we can rise above our troubles and remember our dream.
If our purpose is to experience then we must be open to results from our life choices. No experience is ever wasted and we grow the universe through a gnosis, an identification with all that is. This gnosis is all around us. Who doesn’t take comfort and empowerment from stories of the angst and pain in another and the empowerment that comes from seeing others deal with their stuff, yet we must understand that we can’t unpack and live there. Our pain does not define who we are.
The Star is a sign of new life, new possibilities. We are directed towards self knowledge and personal transformation.
As Tarot readers we bear witness to the life stories in our clients; it is not empathy that we seek but gnosis. In the story of that person lies our own. We constellate the aspects of the situation and re-route them towards self empowerment and keys for healing. We, as readers can’t do it for others, we hold the space and be in that moment of universal love. We unite the dreamer with the dream.
When the dust settles after the wound has ripped the heart, it is vital that the dust does not accumulate but that we work with that wound to create a better tomorrow.
1. What does my dream look like?
2. What do I do to make it happen?
3. What will hold me back?
4. Has my wound created the dream?
5. Will my dream heal my wound?